Handfasting Ceremony

Summoning Our Friends to Witness

Ringing the bell

[Brett, the officiate] We have come together here in celebration of the joining together of Missy and Stu. There are many things to say about marriage. Much wisdom concerning the joining together of two souls, has come our way through all paths of belief, and from many cultures. With each union, more knowledge is gained and more wisdom gathered. Though we are unable to give all this knowledge to these two, who stand before us, we can hope to leave with them the knowledge of love and its strengths and the anticipation of the wisdom that comes with time. The law of life is love unto all beings.

Love brings us here

It is love that enlightens us to our higher intent in this life; love that allows us to resonate our souls in beautiful harmony with life. May we atone ourselves with the elements in understanding of air, fire, water, and earth, so that through this union of shared love and see the Universal Light Energy “God” within each of you.

Brett gathers the circle

Would all of you gather around us in a circle to witness this union of spirits (It’s great that you already did this!). Life consists of many circles, or cycles. The circle we form today represents the Circle of Life. Missy and Stu bring us to this circle and reminds us all of the connection we share. Love and the unending transformation of birth/life/death/rebirth. They desire that we honour that which is scared within ourselves as we honour their love and them.

Marriage is a bond to be entered into only after considerable thought and reflection. As with any aspect of life, it has its cycles, its ups and its downs, its trials and its triumphs. With full understanding of this, Stu and Missy have come here today to share their union.

Love is constant

Please join hands with your betrothed and listen to that which I am about to say:

Above you are the stars, below you are the stones, as time doth pass, remember…

Like a stone should your love be firm; like a star should your love be constant. Let the powers of the mind and of the intellect guide you in your marriage, let the strength of your wills bind you together, let the power of love and desire make you happy, and the strength of your dedication make you inseparable. Be close, but not too close, yet be understanding. Have patience with one another, for storms will come, but they will pass quickly. Also nourish and cleanse imparting wisdom that out of chaos come creation even as struggle for the divine lives and breathes within each of you.

Blessing of the Hands

Holding Stu

[Brett] Missy, please face Stu, and hold his hands, palms up, so you may see the gift that they are to you.

These are hands, of strength and vibrancy, the hands that are holding yours on your wedding day, as he promises to love you all the days of his life.

These are hands of love that will cherish you passionately through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.

These are the hands of comfort that will wipe the tears from your eyes countless times: tears of sorrow and tears of joy

These are healing hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief rack your mind.

These are the hands that will lift your chin and brush your cheek tenderly as they raise your face to look into his eyes: eyes that are filled completely with his love and desire for you.

Stu, please hold Missy’s hands, palms up, where you may see the gift that they are to you.

Stu holds my hands

These are the hands that are smooth and carefree, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as she pledges her love and commitment to you all the days of her life.

These are the hands that will massage tension from your neck and back in the evenings, after you’ve both had a long, hard day.

These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times.

They are the hands that will comfort you when you are sick or console you when you are grieving.

These are the hands that will love you and cherish you passionately through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.

These are the hands that will hold you in joy, and excitement, and hope.

These are the hands that will give you support as she encourages you to chase your dreams. Together, everything you wish for can be realized.

[To all]

Bless the hands

Bless the hands that you see before you this day. May they always be held by one another. Give them the strength to hold on during the storms of stress and the dark of disillusionment. Keep them tender and gentle as they nurture each other in their love. Help these hands to continue building a relationship founded in your grace, rich in caring, and devoted to reaching for your perfection. May Missy and Stu see their four hands as healer, protector, shelter, and guide.

Our Vows

Our vows

[Brett] We call on the power of that which is God and Goddess, known by many names and that which is nameless.

Stu, I have not the right to bind thee to Missy, only you have this right. If it be your wish, say so at this time.

[Stu] It is my wish

[Brett] Missy, if it be your wish for Stu to be bound to you, say so at this time.

[Missy] It is my wish

[Brett] Missy, I have not the right to bind thee to Stu, only you have this right. If it be your wish, say so at this time.

[Missy] It is my wish

[Brett] Stu, if it be your wish for Missy to be bound to you, say so at this time.

[Brett] It is my wish.

Stu, Repeat after me:  I, Stuart, in the name of the spirit of the Universal Light Energy who is nameless that resides within us all, by the life that courses within my blood and the love that resides within my heart, take thee Missy to my hand, my heart, and my spirit, to be my chosen one. To desire thee and be desired by thee of my love for thee. I promise to love thee wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change thee in any way. I shall respect thee, thy beliefs, thy people, and thy ways as I respect myself.

Missy, Repeat after me:  I, Missy, in the name of the spirit of the Universal Light Energy who is nameless that resides within us all, by the life that courses within my blood, and the love that resides within my heart, take thee, Stuart to my hand, my heart, and my spirit to be my chosen one. To desire and be desired by thee, in the purity of my love for thee. I promise to love thee wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change thee in any way. I shall respect thee, thy beliefs, thy people, and thy ways as I respect myself.

Anam Cara

The quaich

[Brett] On this your handfasting day, we celebrate the Celtic spirit of the anam cara. Anam cara is translated from the Gaelic as “soul friend”. By entering in a partnership with your anam cara, you are joined in an ancient and eternal way with this person whom you most cherish. In every one’s life there is a great need for an anam cara and so I ask you to toast one another by repeating the following:

Anam cara

[Stu and Missy repeat together] Today I recognize you, my anam cara, and I ask that you become a part of me, in sacred kinship. With you I will share my innermost self, my mind and my heart. With you, I have lost all fear and have found the greatest courage. I have learned to love and let myself be loved. With you, I have found a rhythm of grace and gracefulness. Love has reawakened in my life; a rebirth; a new beginning. With you my anam cara , I am understood, I am home.

[Brett]

Drink to the past

And now, please drink to the separate paths that brought you here and the love you’ve shared in the past.

[Stu and Missy take turns sipping from the quaich]

Drink to the love in the present, on this your handfasting day.

[Stu and Missy take turns sipping from the quaich]

Drink to the future

And drink to your love in the future and forever more.

[Stu and Missy take turns sipping from the quaich]

[Brett] The Celts believed that the way you view your future actually shapes it. I now ask everyone here in the room, as the handfasting sash is passed around the circle, to take a moment to visualize a future for the bride and groom. As a group, let’s think of the happiness in store for Stu and Missy. Let’s put their joyous future out to the universe.

Slainte! [Slainte is Scottish for "to your health" and is the equivalent of saying "cheers" in this country.]

Blessing of the Elements

Blessing our sash

[Brett]  By Air

Air is the element that we need to survive in this world. How pure the air remains is one of our responsibilities. Air represents your thoughts. Keeping thought pure and honest is a necessity for growth.

By keeping your words peaceful and calm, both of you will be able to weather any storm that may come your way. Let the air between you remain pure to provide life in your union.

The air stirred by this feather purifies the air between you to celebrate the harmony in your love.

By Fire

Lighting our candles

Let the fires of your love for one another and the fire of your spirits mingle here and create a singular flame.

By the bringing and sharing of light, display your intent; let the two fires of your spirits and love for one another merge as one.

Fires of passion and love, join here and become one, as do these people before you.

Each of you take a candle representing your singular selves. Let them meet and unite here at the center. Now rejoice in the enduring flame of your love.

Take up and light the candles before you, representing your individual lives. Examine the flame, how it can warm, how it can energize, and how it can harm; fire is both creation and destruction. As you light the candle of your union, bring into it the fire of your love, the warmth of your compassion, and the spark of creativity.

By Water

As the water is poured and the two become one, the halves become invisible, indefinable, a true whole.

Take up now your vessels, which represent your own persons. The water within them is as your own lives, similar yet separate. In the mixing of these fluids in the singular vessel of your union are your lives thus blended. See how the two, once separate, are a complete whole. So now are your lives.

Water to water, and soul to soul. Love binds and blends us all.

By Earth

As humans, we are of the earth, and return to the earth when our days are finished. Our sustenance is derived from the earth, and our task is to protect and replenish it.

Each of you bring your uniqueness to your union, and the blending will strengthen both of you.

As plants need soil that is a blend of many materials, your love needs the blend of what each of you bring to the mixture in order for it to grow beyond what is already present.

Take up now your vessels, which represent your own persons. The earth within them is as your own lives, similar yet separate. In the mixing of these molecules in the singular vessel of your union are your lives thus blended.

Tying the Knot

Wrapping our sash

[Brett] We call again upon the Creatrix: the Maiden, the Mother, and Crone; the Father; the Sky; the Essence of Love that is beyond time and space; the Energy of the Light Force; known by many names and which is nameless. The sacred light of our shared souls and ageless love, may your union be blessed.

The woven cord

Woven into this cord, imbued into its very fibers, are all the hopes of your friends and family, and of yourselves, for your new life together. With the fashioning of this knot do I tie all the desires, dreams, love, and happiness wished here in this place to your lives for as long as love shall last.

In the joining of hands and the fashion of a knot, so are your lives now bound, one to another.

By this cord, you are thus bound to your vow. May this knot symbolically remain tied for as long as love shall last.

Woven partnership

May this cord draw your hands together in love, never to be used in anger. May the vows you have spoken never grow bitter in your mouths.

As any child discovers when they are learning to tie their own shoes, the first move is to cross the ends. The cross creates the partnership and union. As your hands are bound by this cord, so is your partnership held by the symbol of this knot. May your bond cross time and space.

Tying the knot

Two entwined in love, bound by commitment of free will, sadness and joy, by hardship and victory, anger and reconciliation, all of which brings strength to this union. Hold tight to one another through both good times and bad, and watch as your strength grows.

Our knot is tied

[Brett] Will all of your present here and witnessing these vows, assist and support these two people in their union?

[Everyone] I will.

[Brett] As these two people are joined, so are your families united through them. It has been their decision to bind themselves by marriage, and their lives will be blessed and enriched by the support you give. Will you encourage and bless Stu and Missy in their union? Will you celebrate their marriage, standing beside them in rough times, yet not standing between them?

[Everyone] I will.

[Brett] May the Winds of communication blow ever between you; may the Fires of love sustain you; may the Waters of life heal and soothe you; and may the strength of the Earth bind and steady you throughout your time together.

As the Air you breathe brings you life, may you always speak truthfully to one another. For truly does each falsehood act as a little death.

As the Fire of love burns within you, may you always find a spark even in your anger. For without Love, we are but weak shadows upon the stones.

As the Waters of life flow within your bodies, may your personal tides move in unison, and your emotions flow. For Water contains life, sustains life, and without it we are but dry husks.

As the Earth grounds and steadies you, may you always remain strong for one another. For strength adds to strength and builds upon itself.

All this do I charge you, for as long as Love shall last.

You have witnessed the promises made by Stu and Missy, one to another, and the exchange of the symbols of their union. They are now connected to experience together whatever life may bring them.

In the binding of yourselves have you created life anew. Step forth, therefore, into that new life, and rejoice in your love.

So Mote It Be.

You are friends and relatives of this couple, and thus you are an important part of their lives. Their interactions with you are coloured by your actions and words. You have a responsibility to one another and to this couple to be supportive, understanding, and honest, and on this day of their marriage, do I charge you to temper all of your dealings with love.

So Mote It Be!

[Everyone] So Mote It Be!